


Bring your wife and Trouble

by Isbus



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst and Porn, Human Midnight Crew, Multi, Porn With Plot, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-10-14 10:17:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17506700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isbus/pseuds/Isbus
Summary: “Are you lost?” He inquired, his voice soothing and calming.“You’ve drawn spades, babe. I think you need some fun anyway since Diamonds been keeping ya serious.”“Don’t mind my pun but, you make me explode with happiness!” He smiled.“You remind me of something I’d see in Red Cheeks magazine...” he admitted, his face turning red as he stared down at you.“And I really think you should join- you belong with the Felt.”





	Bring your wife and Trouble

**Author's Note:**

> Key!   
> [Y/N] = Your Name   
> [F/C] = Favorite Color

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You belong with the Felt”
> 
> “Are you lost?”

 

“So, Snow, how are you?” You spoken with your favorite friend, Snowman. You sat across from her at the small, fancy table with the fancy chairs at the local diner. You were outside since Snowman wasn’t aloud to smoke inside the building, luckily enough, it’s a cloudy afternoon and couples are hanging around. Snowman lips cracked open a little to show her perfect teeth as a smile. 

She leaned forward and rested her head in her hands. “Haven’t heard that one. What’s the deal?” 

“Nothing, just wanted to test out the nickname... Snow.” You winked and she giggled. 

She looked up at the purple, pink, and orange sky. “Well, I’m fine. Thank you for asking. How are you, [Y/N]?” She returned her gaze to you. 

You had a certain topic on mind so now’s the time to introduce it. “I’m great but I could be better...” Wait for it... She tilted her head and asked what was up. “Well, I keep hearing talk about the Midnight Crew and was wondering what was the big deal.” Her lighthearted smile changed into a face of worry and seriousness, but mostly seriousness. 

“Don’t think to much of them, they’re horrible people. Definitely not as good as the Felt.” She leaned back and waved her hand in a don’t-worry-too-much-cause-they-suck manner. 

You didn’t like getting on Snowman’s nerves since people that she hates get hurt, but you really wanted to know. So, you pressed on. “Yeah, but I was wondering about ways to keep them in check or something along the lines of people laughing at them.” You hoped that she would be nice and tell you about the crew but, knowing her, she probably won’t say a word at those apparent douchebags. 

Snow stopped staring at the sky and directed her sight back to you. “[Y/N], leave the battles to me. I couldn’t stand to see a pretty face like yours hurt.” 

“I’m more than just a pretty face, Snowman.” You kept your cool though you wanted to punch her, but couldn’t even since you like her as a best friend and because killing her means the end of the universe. 

Snowman took a puff from her cigarette and blew it in my direction. “[Y/N], just stop talking about them! There’s no need to know until you actually decide on joining the Felt!” Everyone looked at us with worry in their eyes. “And I really think you should join- you belong with the Felt.” 

Feeling a drizzle on your nose made you realize what was about to happen. “I’m going, bye.” As you stood up, she tried to talk you out of it but saw her cigarette go out from a drip. You started to stomp away, putting your hands in your pockets as you moved with anger and purpose. As anyone may guess, you were going home. 

You had to go on the side of a road with a forest cut down so that people could drive. It was really pouring down and you hated that you didn’t bring an umbrella or a coat to the diner but you didn’t, so your nice clothes were getting wet. You wanted to get to your house as fast as possible since you heard some bad people live around your home and they only come out at night. You thought that was the Midnight Crew; hence the name. 

While you were walking, the sky was getting darker, the rain was getting louder, and you could hear steps coming towards you accompanied by a man in a dark suit; it looks like two people came out in the rain with their Sunday’s best. Once he got close enough to talk to you he stopped. 

He looked at your outfit, raising an eyebrow at how... your actually not sure. “Are you lost?” He inquired. His voice was smooth and sexy, like anyone would imagine from someone so proper looking. 

“No, I’m just a mile away from my house.” You tried to make it sound as short as possible so he would leave you alone. Was it successful? 

He made a face. “Oooh, well that’s a long walk from here. Especially since you’re on foot.” No, it was not a success. “You’re wet, you’re a mile away from your house, you’re in high heels (you’re feet must be KILLING you by the by)- you should come with me to my home. Which is only a yard from here.” 

You think for a second. _He seems like a nice guy, inviting me to his home and worrying about me though I’m a stranger._

“I would love to but in the morning I will go home and be out of your hair.” He smiles and takes your wrist, stepping in the direction that he was coming from. “Oh! So you just came from your house?” 

He chuckles. “Yes, I was just coming from my home.” You moved from behind him to the left of him so that you could see his house. But when he stopped, you didn’t see a house anywhere! What kind of trick was he pulling?! He bent down and grabbed the lid off the manhole. There was a ladder that led down to a darkened area. He began to creep down the ladder. “Are you coming?” You didn’t want to do this since it leads to a sewer, but maybe he has a nice place that is secluded from the sewer part. 

“Uh, alright...” he backed away from the ladder and waited for you to crawl down the ladder. You got down there and saw noting but darkness. 

He didn’t speak for a hot second. “Oh! The lighting!” You could hear his footsteps getting quieter and then lights came on. “There.” You expected to see some underground home, but you saw an underground base instead. There was a  table in the middle of the room with cards and blueprints on it, a small couch by a door with a club on it, a door with a spade on it by the ladder, a door with a heart on it, a door with a diamond with a picture of a man next to it, and two unmarked doors. The room was in the shape of a rectangle, one unmarked door being next to the heart door and the other by the diamond door. 

“Wow! It looks so cool! What do the suits represent on the doors?” You looked around a little more, searching for more little extras such as the coins and gun shots in the walls. 

“Well, those are the bedrooms for me and the other boys.” 

“There’s others who live here?” 

“Yes, there is. My friends Spade Slick, Hearts Boxcars, Clubs Deuce, and yours truly, Diamonds Droog.” You nodded. “Now, let’s get you cleaned up. I’ll get you some clothes from my room. He entered the door with the diamond and you waited for him to return.

Like the snoopy main character you are, you looked around. You looked at the blueprints, which were green, for some reason. 

He quickly returned and saw you looking down at the greenprints. He was holding something behind his back which you couldn’t make out what they looked like. “I couldn’t tell if you liked something frilly or something more boyish, so I went with this.” He pulled out a [F/C] dress. It was sleek and had a slit down the right side of the dress with no sleeves and a low cut back. 

You stood in awe for a short second. “It’s beautiful...” 

He smirked. “And I have something for you to wear under it.” You blushed. He passed you the dress and you could feel the undergarments inside it. “You should probably take a quick shower first. The bathroom is the unmarked door by my room.”You slipped through the door and saw a very clean bathroom. The shower curtain had the suits all over it, and the mirror had writing in black and red. 

One in red says “Love me like you do ♡”, one in black says “Fake it like you love me, come on baby touch me ♠︎”, the other red one said “My cherries and wine, rosemary and thyme ♢”, and the final one which is black says “I feel we’re close enough, could lock in your love? ♣︎”. 

>Stop Worrying about the mirror and what the bathroom looks like. 

You want to say no to that order, but you realize it would take you an hour to stare at all the amazing things in here. So you do as your told and get undressed so you can get that shower. 

>Go in full detail about how you shower. 

How about no? How about we DON’T? Yeah, make that angry face, it’s not gonna change my answer. 

\- - -

You stepped out, ready to slip on the clothes the picked out for you. You shake out the undergarments which were a black lacey bra, black lace trimmed panties, and dark, thin, thigh-high socks with a garter belt. Wow, this man has taste. You slide on the socks and underwear, you clip on the garter belt and bra with clipping the socks up to the garter belt, lastly, you slip on the dress. You figured that he wouldn’t mind you wearing the same heels since they match the color of the dress, so you put them on. 

You open the door and he grins. “Didn’t I do a good job?” You nod. You hear the manhole lid slide off and men talking. “Oh look, they’re here.” 


End file.
